My family has a community garden plot. One of my friends does too, and was consistently growing much better fruit and vegetables than us. How dare he!
I spent the entire summer collecting stickers from fruits and vegetables. Hundreds of stickers. Then, every time I was at the garden I carefully applied stickers to all his produce. Every strawberry. Every carrot. Every broccoli stalk. The next summer he gave up gardening, and now I feel kinda bad.